The Marvelous Misadventures of Snake
by Swordsmaster of Light
Summary: It's all about Snake and his mis adventures in the Brawl world! Enjoy! A guaranteed ROFL or your money back! I'M BACK, BABY!
1. The Royal Pain in the Ass

**OK! Before I start this, I'm going to go on the regular rant that everyone does… I do not own the characters named in this story. They are property of their respective owners. This story is meant for entertainment purposes only, and not for my own personal gain. The only thing that I own in this story…is the story itself. Now, prepare yourself for…**

The Marvelous Misadventures of Snake

**P.S. the bold text in the story means that Snake is writing/speaking in his log that he keeps. The **_**Riiing! Riiing! **_**is his Codec going off. I suggest that you know something about Snake and the Metal Gear Solid games before reading if you want to understand the Codec conversations.**

Chapter 1: The Royal Pain in the Ass

**Snake's Log: Date: October 1. 0700 hours. I'm being sent on a mission to spy on a princess. From what I heard, her castle is heavily guarded. I'll have to be careful. The chopper is dropping me off now. Snake out.**

The helicopter landed and Snake jumped out. He ran behind a tree and looked at the castle. It was definitely big, and was guarded by…mushrooms?

--

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Otacon, this is Snake. Do you read me?"

"I hear you, Snake. What's wrong?"

"I'm at the castle, but I think something's wrong here. It's guarded by mushroom things."

"Those guys are called Toads. They are the primary subjects in this kingdom. Don't underestimate them, Snake. From the info I've gathered, they are rumored to have superhuman strength!"

"Got it. Hmm. I wonder if they taste like that mushroom thing that I ate in the jungle that one time…"

"Uuugh, Snake!"

--

Snake snuck around to the back, careful not to be spotted. He saw an air duct and climbed in. He crawled around in the duct until he smelled perfume. A very strong perfume.

"That must be my target," Snake said to himself. He followed the smell until he found the source. He looked down through a grate in the air duct to see a princess in a pink dress. She had long blonde hair, and was skipping around the room. After a while, she sat down at a table and pulled out a couple of dolls from under the table. She began to play tea party with them. She was having a great time with her dolls when she looked up at the air duct.

"Eww, something smells!' she exclaimed. She walked up to the wall and pressed a button. Suddenly the air duct snapped open and Snake fell through. "Hi, Mr. Snake! Do you remember me? My name's Peach!"

"Like I could forget," he replied. "You were the most annoying out of all the people at that Brawl thing, next to that pink marshmallow."

"Do you want to play tea party with me? I've got a special dress for you!"

"I'd rather not. I've got to get going now." He started to walk out of the room when the door slammed closed.

"You are going to play tea party with me, and you're going to like it!" Peach said in an almost demonic tone. She stamped over to him.

"No! No! Noooo!!"

--

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Snake, do you copy? Snake? SNAAAAAAKE!!"

--

Snake woke up slowly.

"Where am I?" he said to himself. "And why am I wearing a frilly pink dress?"

"Yay! You're up!" Peach said happily.

"Oh no, it's you! I'm still at the castle, aren't I?"

"Yep! And you're going to stay here forever and ever with me!"

"Hell no!" Snake yelled. He tore off the dress and picked a grenade off of his belt. He threw it at the wall and it exploded, making a big hole. He ran out as fast as he could.

"NOOO!! Come back!" Peach yelled. "Hmmph! Well, I still have Mario to play with me…" she said mischievously…

End Chapter 1

**Author's Notes**

**Did you all like it? It's the first of many, and Snake is going to spy on, attempt to kill, or do various other things to all of the people from Brawl (and maybe the people from Melee)! Leave a review if you have a preference on which character you want him to seek out next! First come, first serve basis! And when Snake said pink marshmallow in the story, he meant Kirby. Do Snake's Hidden Taunt on Kirby (or search it on Youtube)!**


	2. The Bounty Hunter

I am making it so when Snake is talking in the Codec, the other person's dialogue is underlined

**I am making it so when Snake is talking in the Codec, the other person's dialogue is underlined. I got a complaint saying: "I can't understand the Codec talks! Who's who?" So the other person is now underlined. Happy? And do some research on Metal Gear Solid if you want to know who the people Snake talks to are.**

Chapter 2: The Bounty Hunter

**Snake's Log: October 2. 1200 hours. Colonel has sent me a list of people to kill. The first one on the list is…Samus Aran, a bounty hunter. Well, that's kind of ironic. A bounty hunter on a hit list. This is going to be fun.**

**--**

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Colonel, tell me what you know about this Samus person before I go."

"Samus Aran is one the galaxy's most feared bounty hunters. Her armor is outfitted with various types of weapons for almost any situation."

"Wait a minute, she's a girl?"

"Yes. You didn't know that?"

"Well, how am I supposed to know? She's always wearing that armor. It's kind of hard to tell."

"…"

"Anyway, where can I find her?"

"…She's in the house right next to you Snake."

"Oh. Got it."

--

Snake crept up to the front door and leaned on it.

"Now to see if she's home," Snake said to himself. He hit his fist on the door and ran. He hid in his box not too far away. Samus, wearing her orange Power Suit, opened the door and looked around. Seeing no one, she shrugged and went back inside, shutting the door behind her. Snake came out of the box and used a grappling hook to climb onto the roof. He found a sunroof and jumped in. He hid behind a dresser until he figured out that no one was there. He looked around. He was in a bedroom. He snuck out into the hallway. He heard footsteps, so he activated his Chameleon Camouflage System. Samus walked right past him into the bathroom, accidentally leaving the door open behind her.

"Oooh, this should be interesting." He quietly walked next to the door and peered over the corner. He saw Samus pressing a couple buttons on her armor and it fell off. She was wearing her blue Zero Suit underneath her Power Suit. Her face was beautiful, and her blonde hair was in a ponytail. "Aww man…" Snake said quietly. "Well, hate to do this to such a pretty woman." He raised a small gun that had a laser pointer built in and aimed at Samus's head. Noticing the red dot, Samus picked up her laser pistol and shot at Snake. "Ow!" he exclaimed. Samus pulled out her plasma whip and started hitting Snake with it. "Okay! Okay! I give!" he yelled.

"Get out of my house, Snake," she said coldly.

"Are you sure I couldn't do something with you first?"

--

Snake came crashing out of the window that Samus threw him through. He hit the ground with a loud thud.

"Jeez, all you had to do was say no," he grumbled.

"And don't come back!" Samus yelled.

End Chapter 2

**Author's Notes**

**Well, he struck out there. Next up: Link! Remember to leave a review and don't be afraid to say which character you want to see!**


	3. The Hero of Time

**Before I begin, I have something to say. SEE THE BOLD PRINT? READ THE BOLD PRINT AT THE BEGINNING AND END OF THE CHAPTERS!! I said that I would do Link as the next chapter in the bold print at the bottom of the last chapter, but no one seems to have read that part! Check the reviews if you don't believe me. So, as a result, I am now making a list of the order the characters will appear in the story. The list is on my profile.**

Chapter 3: The Hero of Time

**Snake's Log: October 3. 0800 hours. While walking through the forest after eating a squirrel, I spotted the next target on my hit list. It's Link, the boy who wears a man skirt and plays with a fairy. Ah, I'm just kidding. Anyway, time to kill.**

**--**

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Otacon, tell me what you know about Link."

"Link is a famous hero form the land of Hyrule. On multiple occasions, he has saved the land from the villain Ganondorf."

"So I've heard. What's the deal with all that stuff carries around?"

"In order to defeat his enemies, Link finds many types of weapons and equipment in their lairs."

"Wow, those people must be really stupid to leave weapons lying around. What kinds of things does he have? I forgot."

"And yet you're calling his enemies stupid…His most famous weapons are bombs, a bow and arrows, a boomerang, and magic."

"Got it. This'll be a snap."

--

Link was practicing with is bow. He reached into his quiver to get an arrow, but it was empty.

"Now's my chance," Snake said. Snake got some sticks and rocks and managed to cobble together some decent arrows. He planted a bomb on the ground and covered it up with leaves. He carefully put the arrows on top of the trap. He ran and hid behind a tree. Link quickly spotted the arrows. He pulled out a grappling hook device and shot it at the arrows, grabbing them and pulling them towards him. "Damn it!" Snake said quietly. "Going to have to do this the hard way." He pulled out his trusty pistol and aimed it at Link. Link heard him moving around and quickly pulled out his shield to protect him. The bullet bounced right off. He drew his sword and charged at the place the bullet came from. "Uh oh," Snake said as he started running. He pressed a button and not long after, a helicopter flew over him. It dropped a ladder and Snake started to climb. Before he reached the top, Link threw his boomerang at him and hit him right on the head. Snake plummeted to the ground, unconscious. Link caught him, sighed, and began to walk out of the forest.

--

"Uuggh," Snake grumbled as he got up. "Where am I?" He opened his eyes and looked around. He saw a person in a pink dress. "Oh, no! It can't be!"

"Hi, Mr. Snake!" It was Peach.

"You know, I'm leaving now," he said. He got up, blew another hole in Peach's wall, and ran out.

"Why doesn't he like me?"

End Chapter 3

**Author's Notes**

**OK, check my profile for the next person! And one of my friends made me write the thing that Snake said in his Log. He thinks Link is gay. I do not think this!**


	4. The Other Princess

**In the Reviews, there was a request to have Samus appear again. Well, I'm sorry, but since Samus doesn't have any relations to any other characters in the game, I really can't put her in...I'll try, though! I put Peach in the Link chapter because Link wanted to torture him. Ha ha, Snake. Ha ha.**

Ch. 4: The (Other) Princess

**Snake's Log: October 4. 1600 hours. Zelda is my next target. The only thing I know about her right now is that she's a princess. -sigh- Great. Another one.**

**-------------------**

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Mei Ling, what do you know about Zelda?"

"Well, she is the princess of the Kingdom of Hyrule."

"That's the same place Link is from, right?"

"That's correct! However, she frequently gets kidnapped by the villain Ganondorf. But Link always saves her! It's sooo romantic!"

"You've been reading too many romance novels again, haven't you?"

"Shut up!"

---------

Snake peeked over the corner of the wall he was standing by. There were guards on patrol.

"Ah, so this place actually has real guards, huh?" Snake said to himself. He watched the guards' movements and memorized them. After a while, he hid behind a bush and waited for a guard to show up. When he did, Snake shot him with his M9, his tranquilizer gun. The guard collapsed. Snake did this to the next guard, and the next one, and the next one, until he got to an area where he could sneak in. it was, of course, through an air duct. Snake climbed in and began sneaking around. Eventually, he found Zelda's room. She was sitting on her bed, reading. Snake pulled out a sniper-like gun and aimed at Zelda's head. He shot at her-but it was deflected by Zelda's magic. "God, why does everybody keep blocking my bullets?" Snake asked himself.

"That's because you're being too loud when you talk to yourself, Snake, Zelda said. "Everyone can hear you talking to yourself. Also, did you really think that I wouldn't notice that a group of my guards are unconscious?"

"Damn,"

"Now, please leave." Zelda pointed at Snake and a green light came from her fingertips. Snake began to glow green and he disappeared. He reappeared outside of the castle.

"Man, I just can't win recently..."

End Chapter 4

**Author's Notes**

**Remember to check my profile!**


	5. The Blue Haired Prince

The Blue-Haired Prince

**Snake's Log: October 5. 0900 hours. OK, so Zelda didn't work out. I'm going to try Marth next. Man, I hope I kill him.**

**--------**

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Mei Ling, tell me about this Marth guy."

"He is-well, was, the prince of the land of Altea.  He is also an expert swordsman."

"Altea? Never heard of it. And what do you mean when you said he was the prince?"

"That's probably because it was destroyed. Altea was always under attack. And Marth was sent into exile. So he's not _technically_ the prince, but he still wears the title."

"Wow, he must be really stuck up to never relinquish his title."

"Actually, he wasn't. After he was sent into exile, he selflessly fought to reclaim his homeland, no matter what the cost. He made his army out of the ones he defeated!"

"Wow. Better be careful around this guy. He might have hidden friends everywhere for all I know."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that Snake."

---------------------------------

Snake saw Marth walk into the library across the street. He followed him over. As Marth walked in, a voice said, "Welcome back, Prince Marth! You know the drill by now, I hope!" As the person said this, Marth put his sword, which he had around his waist most times, on a case on the wall. He closed the case and it locked up. Snake walked into the library.

"Hello!" a voice said. It was the librarian that stood at the front desk. "I've never seen you around here. Let me explain something. No weapons of any kind are allowed in the library."

"What?!" Snake exclaimed.

"You have to put them in a case on the wall." Snake looked at the case hanging from the wall.

"You're going to need a bigger case."

-----------------------------

The librarian watched in horror as Snake kept taking out more and more guns, bombs, and various armaments.

"OK, I think that's it." Snake said after a long while. "Let me see, my M9, my Nikita** (A/N: the Nikita is a guided missile launcher. It's Snake's Side**-**B attack in Brawl)**, my smart bombs, my grenades, my...everything else. Yep, that's it."

"Alright then," the librarian said, shaking slightly. "You may enter the library. Please be mindful of other visitors." Snake walked away.

-----------------------

Snake got a book titled Modern Weaponry: Guns Are Your Friend and sat down across from Marth at the table in the middle of the library. Marth was reading the book Heroes and Nations of the Past. While they both were reading, Snake kicked Marth in the shin. Marth tensed up a bit from sudden pain, then moved over a seat. He was still in range of Snake's foot, however, and Snake kicked him again.

"Can I help you, Snake?" Marth said quietly.

"Yeah, I need to talk to you. Outside." Snake replied.

"Why?"

"You'll see." Snake got up and left, picking up his weapons from the librarian before leaving. Marth followed him.

-----------------------

"So, Snake, what did you want?"

"To do this." Snake lunged at him and grabbed his neck. Marth stabbed him in the foot before he could do anything. Snake jumped back and pulled out a gun and shot at Marth. The bullet was deflected by Marth's sword. Marth jumped at Snake and hit him on the head with the hilt of his sword, knocking him out. Marth sighed and picked him up and left him at the steps of the library. He walked away saying, "Why does he keep trying? The only person he could kill is an idiot."

End Chapter 5

**Author's Notes**

**Wow, two chapters in one hour! I'm on a roll! Remember to check my profile for the next person appearing!**


	6. The Pyro Lord

The Pyro Lord

**Snake's Log: October 6. 0900 hours. Man, this sucks. I haven't been able to kill anyone recently. I've gotten a lot more rusty than I thought. Anyway, according to the list, Roy is my next target. ...Who the hell is Roy?**

**----------------**

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"OK Otacon, I'm confused. Who's Roy?"

"To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure either. I do know that he's a swordsman and...well, he likes setting things on fire."

"A pyro, huh? I thought I was the only one around here..."

"...Umm...Apparently not."

----------------------

"OK, so if I want to find him, all I got to do is look for a big fire, I'm guessing," Snake said to himself. He looked around-and saw a huge pillar of smoke. "Well, I think he's over there." Snake followed the smoke.

-----------------------

After about a half an hour of following the smoke, Snake saw a boy, about 16 or so years old, staring into a huge fire. The boy's eyes were huge as he stared. Snake took aim and fired. But the boy stood up as Snake shot.

"Better get more wood," the boy said. The bullet ricocheted off of the ground and flew into the fire. It hit one of the bigger logs, and that force was just enough to send it toppling over. It knocked down the whole stack and the dust that flew up put the once amazing blaze out. The boy stared at the charred remains of his masterpiece. After a moment, he looked up and saw Snake. He got extremely angry and charged after him.

"Uh oh!" Snake said as he began to run. The boy was faster though and caught up to Snake. Roy started to slash Snake repeatedly and showed no sign of stopping.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! YOU PUT OUT MY FIRE! MY AMAZING FIRE! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!"

"Stop it! Stop it! You're killing me! STOP!!" After about five minutes of the slashing, Roy finally let up because he got tired. He left Snake there, a bloodied heap of what he used to be.

----------

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"O-Otacon, send me a chopper. I'm in real pain. I'm nearly dead."  
"OK,Snake! It'll be right there!"

---------------

After a minute, the helicopter came and someone lifted Snake on. It flew away as fast as it could.

End Chapter 6

**Author's Notes**

**This one's short. Lol. The Codec talk was shorter this time because Roy isn't in Brawl, so Otacon knows nothing about him. Remember to check my profile!**


	7. The Mercenary

**Finally an update! OK, this story has stuff from Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn. AKA: the Greil Mercenaries. Read about them if you don't know who they are. Oh yeah, and I'm counting this as Chapter 7. I don't count Otacon's announcement as a chapter.**

Chapter 7: The Mercenary

**Snake's Log: October 20. 0800 hours. I'm finally out of the hospital...that Roy guy packs a punch. Got to remember to NOT mess with his fire. Well, I lost that list that Colonel gave me, so...I'm going to go kill someone! I found this guy named Ike...I think he knows Marth, so I better be careful. I saw him with a band of people, so I got to think before I act this time.**

---------------

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"This swordsman's going to be tough."

"Fighting Ike, eh Snake?"

"Um, no. I'm following him."

"Oh. Well, be careful around him Snake. That sword's not just for show."

"That thing's huge! How can he lift that thing?"

"Well, he's strong."

"Duh, do you think so?"**(A/N: Sarcasm! LOL! It's from Family Guy.)**

"Yes."

"-sigh- Well Colonel, I'm going to go kill him now OK? Bye."

---------------------

Snake hid in a bush. Ike was leading his group, the Greil Mercenaries, to a town so they could rest.

"OK everyone!" Ike yelled. "Get some rest! We got work to do tomorrow!"

"Aww, but Ike! Can't we take a longer break for once?" Mist, Ike's little sister who is a healer, complained.

"Yeah, come on!" Rolf, an Archer, agreed.

"No. We have a job to do. So get some rest!" Ike answered. Mist and Rolf stormed off to their tents. Ike made sure everyone was set up and went for a walk.

"Now's my chance," Snake said to himself. He followed Ike.

------------

A couple of minutes later, Ike finally came to a stop. He can cover some serious ground in a couple of minutes. Ike sat down to rest on a rock. Snake silently pulled out his Nikita and aimed at Ike. He fired and the missile shot at him. Ike spotted it and deflected it. It went back towards Snake.

"Oh damn," he said as he jumped out of the way. The missile exploded on a nearby tree, sending it toppling over.

"Nice job, Snake," Ike said. "Now everyone's going to come investigate. I recommend you run."

"Not until I'm finished with you," Snake said in reply. He lunged at Ike and knocked him down. As he got up, Snake caught him from behind and was in a position to snap his neck. All of a sudden, Boyd, a Fighter from the Greil Mercenaries, came from the path.

"It's Ike! And some guy in camouflage!" he yelled. He ran at Snake, swinging his axe.

"Uh oh!" Snake said. He ran away, being chased by all of the Greil Mercenaries now. He eventually tripped and fell and everyone caught up to him.

-----------

"All right, tell me what you're doing here! Now!" Boyd said. He had Snake pinned up against a tree.

"I was...um...wandering around, and a grenade fell out of my pocket and it blew up the tree?" Snake nervously replied.

"Boyd, let him go," Ike said. "He's not worth it. I remember fighting him in the past, and he's just not worth it." Boyd dropped Snake. "Alright, Snake. I'm in a good mood today. Leave now, and I'll spare you. OK?"

"Got it," Snake quickly said. He fled in a hurry.

End of Chapter 7

**Author's Notes**

**OK, so it's finally up! Chapter 7! Yay! Anyway, I have to choose who to write about next, so might take a couple days. Bye for now!**


	8. The Racer

**OK, I know I'm making Captain Falcon an self-centered and complete and total idiot, Snake a douche and Otacon a little whiny baby, but that's kind of how I envision them. Don't yell at me!**

Chapter 8: The Racer

**Snake's Log: October 21. 0900 hours. Today I'm going to kill Captain Falcon. I never liked the guy. That's really my only reason.**

**---------**

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Hey Otacon, can you tell me where I can find Captain Falcon?"

"He's by the racetrack in town Snake. Why do you need to know?"

"I'm going to kill him! Your childhood idol!"

"WHAT? Why would you do that, Snake? Why?"

"I don't know. I'm bored. And I don't really like him."

"Don't kill him Snake! If you do, I'll never forgive you!"

"I can live with that."

----------------

Snake walked over to the racetrack. He saw Captain Falcon there, striking poses for the paparazzi around him. He had just won a race, and was basking in his own glory. Snake waited until the crowd dissipated and followed him to his house.

-----------

Captain Falcon walked into his house and straight to a mirror. He started flexing.

"Who's the Falcon?" he asked himself. "I'm the Falcon! Yes!"

"Oh god, I can't wait to get this over with," Snake said to himself.

"Who said that?" Captain Falcon yelled. He turned to face Snake. "Oh hey Snake! Do you want to race?"

"Um, I don't-" He was abruptly cut off by Falcon beginning to bob up and down.

"Race! Race! Race! Race! Race! Race! Race! Raaaaaaaaaaace!"

"No, I don't want to race! Shut up!" Snake yelled. Captain Falcon gasped and stood up straight.

"No one says no to me! Falcon-"

"Oh damn!"

"PUNCH!" Captain Falcon's hand burst into flames in the shape of a falcon and punched Snake through the wall **(A/N: Yes, I said through the wall. Not through the window, like with Samus)**. He hit the ground with a thud.

"OW! That hurt!" He got up slowly and dusted himself off. "Well, what do I do now? I know! I'll try again!" He walked up to Captain Falcon's house again.

---------

He saw Falcon still flexing in front of the mirror, talking to himself.

"Hi Snake! Do you want to race?"

"Oh not again...."

"Race! Race! Race! Race! Ra-"

"I'm not going to race you, but before you punch me again, I have a present for you."

"Oh! A present! Falcon LOVE presents!" He began to bob up and down again. "Present! Present! Present! Present!"

"Yeah, shut up and hold this for me, will you?" Snake had pulled out a grenade and pulled out the pin. He ran away. "There's your present. Happy?"

"YAY! It's a ball!" Falcon started to toss it up in the air. "Hey Snake, catch the ball!" He threw the 'ball' at Snake.

"Uh oh!"

**-BOOM!!-**

End of Chapter 8

**Author's Notes**

**OK, the Pokemen(my plural version of Pokemon) are up next! I'm putting all of them in one chapter to save space and writing in the future. Bye for now!**


	9. Pokeman

**I'm back, baby! Yes, this story is finally being updated!! OK, in case any of you forgot, this chapter is about the Pokemen.**

Chapter 9: Pokeman?!

**(...It's a Bill Cosby thing...)**

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Mei Ling, what can you tell me about the Pokemen?"

"First off, the plural of Pokemon is Pokemon. Second, they are creatures with amazing powers. Some can conjure lightning, others can breathe fire, some have the power of water and ice, and much more!"

"Wow, those things sound creepy."

"Some of them are, but a bunch of them are soooooo cute!"

"Figured you'd say that."

"Shut up, Snake! Anyway, there are over 400 types of Pokemon, so don't try to kill em' all."

"What about the Pokemen Trainer?"

"...Fine, you can kill him."

"Yay!"

---

"Hmm, I saw a Pokeman trainer going into that forest over there. I'm gonna follow him." Snake crept over to the forest and followed the boy.

---

"Come on out everyone!" the Pokemon trainer threw his Pokeballs into the air and six creatures came out: Pikachu, Squirtle, Ivysaur, Charizard, Pichu, and Jigglypuff. "OK, guys, we're here to find the legendary Pokemon Lucario and Mewtwo! Let's go!" He started to walk forward, but ran into an invisible wall. "What the-?" He rammed into it again. "What is this?"

"It s my Barrier," a voice said.

"Mewtwo!" the Pokemon Trainer called out. Suddenly, his Pichu was hit by a blast of energy and went flying back. "And Lucario too?!" Lucario emerged from the bushes. "Alright guys, do your stuff!" he said to his Pokemon. They began to attack the legendaries while the Trainer hid.

"Now's my chance!" Snake said to himself. He ran up behind the Trainer.

"What are you-MMMPPPH!!" Snake had covered his mouth.

"Say bye-bye!" Snake snapped the neck of the Trainer and his lifeless body fell to the ground. The Pokemon suddenly stopped fighting and all turned to look at Snake. "Umm...what are you going to do?"

"Nothing. Except throw a party!" Lucario said. All of the Pokemon cheered.

"...OK, I give. What the hell?"

"We've been trying to kill those BASTARDS ever since they started capturing us!" Lucario explained. "You are a hero to the Pokemon, Snake!"

"Awesome. Hey, listen, I kind of have to go. I'm sorry I can't stay for the party. If I don't get back to HQ in time, God knows what Colonel will do to me."

"OK, but come back to the forest anytime!" Mewtwo said. Snake ran out of the forest and called a chopper and left.

But he took a little Pokemon with him before he left.

End of Chapter 9

_Not really..._

When Snake got home (not to HQ, his house), he cooked and ate the poor little Pokemon and stupidly threw the bones into the garbage disposal. Needless to say, it broke. Snake called 1-800-PLUMBERS and waited. Eventually, the plumber came. He opened the door. He regonized the plumber dressed in red. It was Mario...

Real End of Chapter 9

**Author's Notes**

**SUSPENSE!**

**Hey, Snake had to kill SOMEONE, right? I've always found Pokemon trainer the most annoying out of the human fighters so...**

**And it wasn't my idea to have Pichu hit with the energy blast. It was my brother's. He doesn't like cute little animals and I was almost out of ideas so...Anyway, next chapter coming soon!**


	10. The Mario Bros and Wario

**Should've mentioned this before, the number 1-800-PLUMBERS(if it is a real number) doesn't belong to me...lol.**

Chapter 10: The Plumbers...and Wario

When Snake got home (not to HQ, his house), he cooked and ate the poor little Pokemon and stupidly threw the bones into the garbage disposal. Needless to say, it broke. Snake called 1-800-PLUMBERS and waited. Eventually, the plumber came. He opened the door. He recognized the plumber dressed in red. It was Mario.

"Ho ho, look at-a that! It's-a Snake!" Mario said with his normal enthusiasm. His face suddenly turned annoyed. "What-a the hell did you do-a this time?"

Snake laughed nervously. "Well you see, um, I think you better look for yourself. The garbage disposal's busted." Mario sighed slightly and followed Snake over to the sink. Mario pulled out a flashlight and looked inside.

"What the hell?" Mario said. "Are these bones?"

"Yeah..."

"What kind of-a bones, dare I ask?"

"Um...some kind of Pokeman or something..."

"WHAT!? You-a killed a poor Pokemon? Why would-a you do that?"

"I was hungry..."

Mario sighed again. "I've-a got to go to my truck. Be-a right back." Mario went out the door to his truck, which looked like a Warp Pipe. Snake saw Mario talking to his brother, Luigi, and Wario. He lifted the window to hear them.

---

Luigi: "He-a did WHAT!?

Mario: "You-a heard me! He ate a little Pokemon!"

Wario: "Weh, we've got to kill him!"

Mario: "Good idea! Luigi, grab-a the mushrooms!"

---

"Oh no! When Mario and Luigi eat mushrooms, they...um..." Snake got down on his knee and put his hand to his ear.

---

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Otacon, what happens when Mario, Luigi, and Wario eat mushrooms?"

"Well, when Mario and Luigi eat mushrooms, they grow in size. The bigger the mushroom, the bigger they grow, generally. And, as far as I know, nothing happens to Wario. Why do you ask?"

"Um, no reason."

---

Snake got up and got ready to fight. He heard a knock at the door, and it was pushed down. Mario and Luigi were there, and they had grown. A LOT. Snake suddenly got very scared and fell to his knees.

"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN! PLEASE!!" Snake pleaded.

"We won't-a kill you," Mario said in a much deeper voice than normal. "but you have to do two things.

"Anything! You name it, I'll do it!"

"First, you have-a never eat another Pokemon again."

"Of course!"

"And second, and you're not-a gonna like this, as punishment, you have to SPEND TWO DAYS AS PEACH'S SERVANT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Luigi said in a demonic tone.

"No! Anything but that!"

"Too late! You're stuck with this!" Mario said, walking up to Snake.

"No! No! Nooooooooo!"

**-THUNK!-**

---

Snake woke up groggily a few hours later.

"Uughh, where am I? And am I wearing a...oh no..."

"Hiii Mr. Snake! Do you like the dress I made for you? I put extra frills on it because it makes you look sooooo cute!"

"**NOOOOOOOO!"**

End of Chapter 10

**Author's Notes**

**I had to bring Peach back in the Mario Bros. Chapter. And I added Wario to save writing, and because he's not that evil anymore, so I figured I'd team him up with the MB. And the "Weh" thing in Wario's speaking part is a noise he makes. I'm sure you all know it as his laugh. Anyway, next chapter coming soon!**


	11. The Monkeys

Chapter 11: The Monkeys

**Snake's Log: I lost track of the date... Anyway, I'm going to do something different. I'm going to kill a monkey! Or, monkeys, I should say. I shouldn't need to call anyone for this one. I mean, how hard can this be? Anyway, back to the mission. **

Snake crept into the Kongo Jungle, gun in hand.

"Alright, now if my memory serves, Donkey and Diddy live in tree houses. So all I have to do is wander around, look up, and find a couple tree houses. Simple enough," Snake said to himself. He began to walk around.

_One hour later..._

"OK, I'm fine. I'm not lost. I just need to walk a little faster."

_Two hours later..._

"Nope, I'm still OK! I never get lost! Never! NEVER!" He began to laugh nervously to himself.

_Five hours later..._

Snake is now laying on the ground in a fetal position, slowly rocking back and forth.

"I'M OK! I'M PERFECTLY OK! I'M JUST A LITTLE LOST, THAT'S ALL!" He began to hit his head against a nearby tree. "I'M, -THUNK-, PERFECTLY, -THUNK-, FINE!, -THUNK-, HAHAHAHAH!!" His hitting of the tree made it's fruit (coconut) become loose and finally...

_-THUNK!!-_

---

"Uuuggghh...where am I?" Snake said groggily. He was in a small wooden room, laying on a wooden bed.

"Hoo, hoo, hoo, akk, akk, akk!" a voice grunted in the distance.

"Who's there?" Snake asked. At this, a small monkey wearing a red cap walked in. "Diddy Kong!" The monkey just smiled and handed him a banana. Snake looked at it curiously and reluctantly took it. "Hey, thanks!" He began to peel the banana. "You know, for a monkey, you're OK.""Akk, akk, akk, akk!" Diddy yelled.

"What the-" Suddenly, a large ape burst through the door. He was nothing but a tie and looked extremely angry. Snake looked down at the banana and then at Diddy. "I hate you." He then blew a hole through the wall and ran screaming. Donkey Kong beat his chest an ran after him. Diddy Kong starting rolling on the ground, laughing.

_And Donkey Kong chased Snake into the sunset..._

End of Chapter 11

**Author's Notes**

**Come on! You had to see that coming! I mean, it's clichéd, but it's funny! Anyway, next chapter coming soon!**


	12. The Angel

**Wow, this one took me a while to think of! Anyway, this probably won't be the best out of the stories, seeing as how Pit is hard to work with for me, but hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 12: The Angel

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"OK! Mei Ling, what exactly is that Pit guy?"

"Pit's an angel from Angel Land"

"Well, DUUUH!"

"Shut up, Snake! Anyway, he sometimes patrol the Earth to see how the human are faring. Also, don't start a fight with him! His bow can be transformed into two swords, so be careful!"

"Oh, come on, this shouldn't be THAT hard!"

"Famous last words..."

---

Snake was in a mountainous area, and saw a beam of light coming from the sky.

_"That must be him..." _Snake thought. He began to climb up the rocks to where the light hit the ground. It wasn't that hard of a climb, and Snake reached his destination relatively easily. He waited for Pit to show up. He waited...and waited...and waited. Eventually, Snake fell asleep on a rock.

---

Snake woke up a few hours later. But he wasn't where he fell asleep. He was now under the shade of the rocks, instead of on top of them. He shot up and looked around. Who could have moved him. He looked up-and saw a feather fall. He ran out of the rocks and looked at where the feather came from. Pit had flown a short distance and was waling away. Snake began to follow him. After a short while, Pit stopped. He turned around. Snake quickly jumped behind a rock. Pit began to walk again, slightly faster this time. Snake followed him again. Pit had turned around and walked faster and faster until he was in a full blown sprint. Snake ran after him and jumped at him, grabbing onto him and pulling him onto the ground. He looked at Pit's face, which was horrified as to what was happening.

"Please, leave me alone! Why are you doing this? Why?" Pit begged.

"I'm here to kill you," Snake simply replied.

"No! Please! You have no idea what will happen to you if you do!"

"What do you mean?" Snake asked.

"Let me go, and I'll show you," Pit said. Snake slowly let him go. Pit stood up, spread his wings, and a light appeared in front of him. Snake looked deep into the light...and saw what could possibly be his worst fear. As Snake was looking into the light, Pit took advantage of the moment and flew away. Eventually the light faded and Snake was left standing there, motionless with fear. He was silent for a couple moments...and then ran away screaming.

End of Chapter 12

**Author's Notes**

**I know people are going to ask what Snake's worst fear is, and if you use you imagination, and events from the past, I'm sure you'll figure it out...=P **


	13. The Good Doctor

**Dr. Mario is a psychiatrist (a doctor who works with human behavior) instead of a medical doctor like Nintendo really has him.**

Chapter 13: The Good Doctor

The receptionist walked into the waiting room.

"Mr...Solid Snake? The doctor will see you now," she said.

"Thanks," was Snake's reply. He walked into the doctor's office.

"Hello, Snake!" Dr. Mario said. He seemed to be able to suppress his Italian accent better than his brother, Mario. "Please, take a seat!" Snake lied down on the couch that was next to the doctor's chair. "Now please, tell me why you are here."

"Well Doc, I've been thought a lot lately. Bad stuff, not like my normal missions. I've been subjected to...horrible things. Something no mortal should see." Snake began to tremble.  
"Are you, by any chance, talking about Peach?" the doctor asked.

"Yes. Yes I am," Snake replied.

"Ah, I pity you Snake. I've had quite a few patients come in because of her. But I have a feeling that she is not the only reason, am I right?"

"Yep."

"Do you want to tell me about what you've gone through? Some of the factors that lead you here?"

"OK, if you say so..."

---

Snake's Problems

Knocked unconscious a total of four times

Nearly killed by a raging pyro

Tortured by Peach twice, in total three days

Thrown through a window

Hit by various blunt objects

Chased by a bunch of mercenaries

Captain Falcon ('nuff said)

Attacked by plumbers in a rage because he ate a Pokemon

Nearly went insane when lost in a jungle

Chased through and out of the same jungle by an enraged ape

Traumatized by a vision given by an angel

---

"Whoa," Dr. Mario said. "I didn't think you had it that rough."

"You'd be surprised," Snake replied.

"Well, at this moment in time, I'm afraid that there's nothing I can do for you."

"WHAT?! I came all this way to learn that NOTHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT THIS?! I'M GOING INSANE!!"  
"I'm not finished! Sheesh! As I was saying, there's nothing I can do for you EXCEPT advise you to be more careful. You technically aren't diagnosed with a mental disease; you're just blowing things out of proportion. I'm sorry, but now I'm going to ask you to leave."

"WHAT THE FU-" He was cut short by a swift blow to the head and he was knocked unconscious once more and dragged out of the office.

"Next!"

End of Chapter 13

**Author's Notes**

**Yeah, Snake's insane; I just didn't think giving him medication would be a good idea. Lol.**


	14. The Animals

Chapter 14: The Animals

Fox and Falco were walking through a forest.

"Ugh, why did our ships have to crash here?" Falco complained.

"Shut up and let's keep moving," Fox replied. "There's gotta be someone who can fix these things."

---

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Hey Otacon, I just saw those animal starship drivers in this forest I'm in."

"So?"

"Well...I'm pretty much trying to kill everyone so..."

"Yeah, have fun with that."

---

"Huh, he seemed mad at me...I wonder why?" Regardless, Snake walked up to Fox and Falco. "I overheard that you need help fixing your flying things," Snake said.

"Yeah, what's it to ya?" Falco replied.

"Falco, shut up. Ca n you fix them? We really need to be somewhere."

"Sure, let me take a look." They led Snake to the Arwings.

---

_2 hours of loud machinery later..._

"There, that should do it!" Snake said. The Arwings were, amazingly, fixed. "I even added a...little suprise.

"Thanks, Snake! You're not as useless as I thought!" Falco said in thanks. Snake made an annoyed face.

"What they don't know is that when they fire them up...BOOM! Hehe..." Snake whispered to himself. He crept away as they climbed into the ships.

"NOT SO FAST!!" someone yelled. Wolf came plummeting down from the sky, aimed straight at the ships. Fox and Falco bailed out and ran. Wolf jumped out and his ship flew at the other ships-and exploded. Fox and Falco looked at Snake.

"What did you do?" Fox asked angrily.

"Um...put a bomb in them. I THOUGHT that you would fly away, but SOMEONE," he glared at Wolf, who was confused, "screwed up that plan."

"You do know that you're going to die now, right?

"Yeah..." He ran away with the animals chasing him.

End of Chapter 14


	15. The King and I and Kirby

**Hey guys! When I went on today, I decided to check the traffic for this story; see how many hits it got. I looked, and was amazed. On Thursday, February 19, 2009 at 3:58 PM, this story had...3,714 hits. 3,714! Now I don't know about you all, but to me, that's A LOT! I cannot thank you all enough for reading my story and writing the reviews! I only wish there was someway I could repay you all... anyway, on with the chapter! **

Chapter 15: The King and I...and Kirby

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"So Colonel, got any missions for me today? Or do I have to go 'do it myself' like you always told me to?

"Snake, I have a serious mission for you. I'm sending you on a mission to kill...a king!"

_DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!_

"What was that?"

"Hm? Oh, that just happens when I say...a king!"

_DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!_

"OK...anyway, which king?"

"King Dedede! A helicopter is coming to transport you to Dream Land now."

"Um, OK..."

---

Snake landed in Dream Land outside of a small hut. Curious, Snake knocked on the door. A small pink being waddled out.

"Oh no, it's you!" Snake exclaimed, pointing at the creature. "Kirby!"

"Hiii! Hiii! Hiii! Hiii! Hiii!" Kirby said in it's annoying voice.

"Raaggh! I can't stand that!" Snake picked up Kirby and pulled out a grenade. He pulled the pin and shoved it in Kirby's mouth. He dropped Kirby and ran. Kirby stood there, staring at Snake. The grenade went off in his stomach, and it didn't affect him at all. In fact, Kirby thought it was good! He decided to follow Snake to see if he had any more.

---

Snake arrived at King Dedede's castle. As he was about to walk in, he was stopped by another small being. This one had a mask and cape.

"Hello, Snake. I know that you are here to kill Dedede, and I cannot let you do that. Prepare to die."

"Aw, come on! I come all this way just to be stopped by you?! No way! MOVE!" Snake yelled. He picked up and punted Meta Knight and charged into the castle. The Waddle Dee guards were no problem for him; he ran right through them. He finally got to King Dedede's chamber and burst in. Dedede was laying down on a couch, waiting for him.

"So, you are finally here," Dedede said. "Took you long enough."

"I'd like to see you run faster, fatty," Snake replied.

"WHAT?!" Dedede screamed. "Take that back, or else!"

"Or else what?"

"This!" King Dedede pulled out his giant mallet. Snake trembled in fear of it. He backed off and hit into a statue of Dedede, which broke. This only made him angrier and he charged at Snake.

"NOOOOOO!" Snake screamed. Just before the mallet hit him, Snake disappeared.

---

Snake reappeared outside the palace. He was saved by Meta Knight.

"Wait...how did you get back here?" a very confused Snake asked.

"I'm better than you. Now, you are going to leave."

"Says who?"

"Says this." Meta Knight whistled. King Dedede came charging at Snake and smacked him with his mallet, sending him flying.

"Damn, he went far!" Dedede said in satisfaction. Suddenly, Kirby came waddling up to Dedede.

"Hiii?" he asked.

"Oh, hey Kirby! Snake had to...um...leave." Kirby just smiled and walked off.

End of Chapter 15


	16. The Old Man

**I would have had this chapter uploaded sooner, but FanFiction had that STUPID problem with the login...damn technical glitch thingamabob... And by the way, I'm not well versed in my LoZ stuff, so if I get something wrong...deal with it.**

Chapter 16: I Can't Think of a Good Name For This Chapter!

**..seriously, I got nothing for a title...lolz.**

Ganondorf stared evilly at the Triforce on the center of the Temple of Time. He grinned.

"Once I take control of the other two pieces of the Triforce, none shall be able to stop me!" he said. He laughed triumphantly.

---

Snake watched Ganondorf from a safe distance through binoculars. He got down on his knee.

_Riiing! Riiing!_

"Otacon, this guy's giving off a murderous vibe..."

(ticked off) "Well, Snake, if you were the 'LORD OF EVIL', you would be too!"

"Well, someone's bitchy today..."

"I'm still mad at you from when you tried to kill Captain Falcon!"

"Oh SUCK IT UP! I swear, you are such a baby! Now stop your whining and give me some info on this guy!"

"...Fine. Ganondorf is, as I said, the 'Lord of Evil'. And he deserves that title, for he has the power and skill to back it up!"

"Do modern weapons even work against this guy? Do I even have a chance?!"

"To tell you the truth, Snake, I really don't know..."

(sarcastically) "Thanks, Otacon, you've been a GREAT help!"

---

Snake looked through his binoculars again. This time, he saw Ganondorf standing over someone's body. The person seemed to be wrapped in bandages or something...

"Wait a minute, isn't that Sheik? What, is she dead or something?" Snake got up and rushed towards the Temple.

---

Snake ran up to the once massive doors of the Temple of Time. He was about to push them open when he was stopped by a small boy in green clothing. He had a small sword on his back.

"Link?" Snake asked. "Did you get shorter or something?" The small Link stared at Snake, confused.

"Hyah?" he asked. Snake suddenly looked angry.

"Will you speak English for once?! Or for that matter, ANY human language?!" Young Link made an angry face at him and turned away. He was about to enter the Temple when HE was stopped by another Link. Only this one looked...cartoonish. And he had a small version of the Master Sword instead of a normal sword like Young Link.

"Alright, what the hell's going on?" Snake asked, pissed and confused. The Links shrugged and went into the Temple. "Hey!" Snake ran after them.

---

As Snake ran into the Temple, the two Links were flying backwards, barely missing Snake's head. Snake looked in the direction they came from and saw Ganondorf, looking extremely powerful.

"So, you imbeciles thought you could defeat me?! Impossible!" Ganondorf boomed. He spotted Snake and slowly walked over to him. "So, they have to send you as the last resort," he said, the comment directed at Snake. "Pitiful! Even though I haven't absorbed the full power of the Triforce, I have more than enough power to destroy you!" Snake looked around fearfully, trying to find something, anything, to help him. Suddenly, he had an idea.

"Hey, old man!" he yelled. "Catch me if you can!" He began to run away from Ganondorf.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?" Ganondorf screamed. He chased after Snake, but his armor weighed him down considerably.

"Come on! You can't touch this!" Snake taunted. He stopped and waited for Ganondorf to catch up to him. When Ganondorf was a few meters away from him, Snake yelled, "NOW!" He pulled out a trigger and pushed it. Suddenly, an explosive went off under Ganondorf's feet. He was sent flying into the air. The second he landed, Toon Link and Young Link stabbed Ganondorf in the heart with their swords. Ganondorf screamed in pain and vanished in a mass of dark matter. Snake was about to revel in his victory (seeing as how he finally did something right), when he remembered Sheik. He ran over and knelt down.

"Hey! Get up!" he yelled, not showing sympathy. "Get up! You're fine; there's no wounds!" And there wasn't. It was a ploy to fool Ganondorf to think that he won. Suddenly, Sheik disappeared. "What the-" Snake began, but he was cut off when he was knocked to the ground from behind. He looked around, and saw Sheik standing over him, shaking her head. "Was that necessary?" sh asked as he got up. "I just saved you sorry ass!" Sheik disappeared again. "OK, what the hell?" He was about to say something else, but he got stabbed in the side by a dart. He pulled out to see that it was a tranquilizer.

"Not again..." he said as he passed out.

End of Chapter 16

**Author's Notes**

**Whenever I played Brawl and Ganondorf came up, I would always call him an old man because he's slow as hell and...well...he looks old! Anyway, next chapter coming soon! **


	17. The Psychic Kids

**This one took me a while to think of...Oh well! And I changed my Penname! I don't know why, but marth752 as a penname didn't appeal to me anymore. And I'm trying something new with the Codec talks for the last couple of chapters. Anyway, on with the chapter!**

Chapter 17: The Psychic Kids

_Riiing! Riiing!_

**Snake:** Ness and Lucas, huh? This should be a snap!

**Colonel: **Snake, I'd be careful if I were you!

**S: **What do you mean, Colonel?

**C: **Snake, those children are more dangerous than they appear! They have psychic power at their disposal.

**S: **Oh really? Like wh-

**C: **YA RLY!

**S: **…

**C: **...sorry. Anyway, they can both set you on fire, they can shock you, one can freeze you, one can-

**S:** NO WAI!

**C: **YA WAI!  
**S: **-laughs-

**C: **-laughs harder than Snake-

**S:** Shut up.

---

"He's overreacting," Snake mumbled as he walked to the playground Ness and Lucas were at. He hid in the bushes outside of it. He saw Ness and Lucas playing on the see-saw. "Alright, Plan A." Snake pulled out a grenade and threw it at them. Ness caught it, looked at it in confusion, and threw it away. It blew up, hurting nothing. "Damn...Plan B." Now, he took out the missile launcher. He fired one at them. Lucas saw the missile.

"PK Freeze!" he yelled. A ball if ice came out of his body and hit the missile. It froze it in it's tracks.

"Damn...Plan C." This time, he waited. He waited until they left the playground and crept out of the bushes. He planted multiple land mines in the ground and went back into the bushes until daytime.

---

_The next day..._

Snake woke up to the glorious sound of explosions.

"Yes, it worked!" he nearly screamed. He jumped out of the bushes and saw-Captain Falcon. Snake looked at him, utterly confused. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"...I like the swings..." Falcon said weakly. He suddenly shot up into the air, seemingly completely fine. "COME ON, BLUE FALCON!" he yelled. His blue race car, the Blue Falcon, came out of nowhere and slammed into Snake. Snake looked up and saw that he was now on a racetrack. And Captain Falcon was heading his way at top speed!

"Aw crap..."

_**SMACK!!**_

Snake went flying across the town. He skidded to a stop right outside of Ness's house. Ness walked out and looked at Snake.

"Hey, weren't you the guy who shot that missile at Lucas and me yesterday?" Ness asked.

"...yes," Snake replied weakly. Ness pulled out his bat. "Oh man..."

_**SMACK!!**_

End of Chapter 17

**Author's Notes**

**Heh, Blue Falcon. Yes, Captain Falcon is still an idiot. I don't know why I put the whole O RLY thing in...lol.**


	18. I, ROB

**Today, August 24th, 2010, I received an e-mail that someone had left a review on this story, The Marvelous Misadventures of Snake. Forgetting what this was, I followed the link, logged in to Fanfiction, and read it. I then reread all of the reviews. I went to my profile, read the reviews on all of my stories, then reread my stories. Looked at the hits for this story, 6,142 at the moment I read it. Oh. My. God. You people are amazing. Inspired me to finish up this story, at the very least.**

**Before I actually continue this, some info. Over the course of the previous school year, I took a Creative Writing class. I learned a vast amount of techniques, ways to improve my writing, and a lot more. I've written poetry, short stories, child's books, and even a one act play! And because of this class, I've matured immensely in my writing, as is made evident in my fiction. You can find my FictionPress name on my profile. So, this chapter and the following may not going to be like the previous in terms of structure. And, since it has been so long since I've wrote in this story, things may not be the same at all. If any change is apparent, tell me if you like it...Or not. Either way.**

**Now that I'm done ranting, on with the show!  
**

Chapter 18: I, R.O.B

**If you get that reference, kudos.**

_Riiing! Riiing!_

Snake: Otacon, you're a nerd, right?  
Otacon: Eheh, well, yeah, you know...

S: What can you tell me about R.O.B?

O: R. first were implemented in-

S: Short version, Otacon.

O: They were used as controls for an old Nintendo system, but lost use after a few games. Those games were-

S: Yeah, yeah, I don't care. What can they do now?  
O: Well, it seems that they've work for various people as servants and the like.  
S: Servants, huh? Sounds useful...

O: I'd be careful if I were you. Some R. have dangerous weaponry!

S: When has that ever stopped me?  
O:...Why do I argue?  
S: Good, you're learning. Where can I find them?

O: You should be able to find them all over, go to the nearest town.

S: Got it.

A helicopter ride later, Snake found himself in a bustling little town run by short people with mushrooms on their heads.

"Ugh, this place again?" he grumbled as he looked around. "Hey you!"

A Toad turned around looked at him. "Yes?"  
"Tell me where I can find a R.O.B..." He approaches the toad, quickly pulled a knife from his belt and put it to the Toad's neck. "Or else."  
The Toad quivered in fear. "D-D-Don't hurt me! T-There's one over there!" He pointed to the side of a house, not surprisingly shaped like a mushroom, where a R.O.B sat dormant.

"Thanks." He put the knife away. "Now you don't say a word of this to any-" He was cut off by the Toad screaming and running away. Snake scowled and walked up to the R.O.B. As he approached, the R.O.B jumped to life, its yellow eyes opening.

"R.O.B unit 1120982 operational," it said in a monotone voice. "Query?"

"What the...So it has a motion sensor, huh?"

"R.O.B unit 1120982 is fully equipped with motion tracking receptors. Query?"  
Snake growled. "The hell are you talking about?"  
"Incorrect query has been stated. Please try again. Query?"  
"How about you shut your mouth?" Snake said angrily.

"R.O.B unit 1120982 is not equipped with the following feature: mouth. Unable to close feature."

"That's it, you piece of junk!" Snake yelled. He then kicked the R.O.B, making its head spin around. "Huh, that'll teach it."

As the head came to a stop, it focused directly on Snake. The eyes, which were previously yellow, turned a deep red. "Threat detected. Engaging countermeasures."  
"Wha-Countermeasures?"

The R.O.B's back opened, and two guns attached to metal poles rose out. They fired a laser at Snake's feet.

"Ah! What the hell!" he screamed as he jumped backwards to avoid it.

"Threat intact. Threat level increased." The shoulders of the R.O.B opened, and two more laser guns appeared. All of the guns began to fire shots at the ground near Snake.

"Come on!" he yelled as he moved back and forth to avoid the blasts.

"Dance, human, dance," R.O.B replied, now aiming one of the guns directly at Snake. It shot at his head, burning his headband and singeing his hair.

"That's it, I'm outta here!" He took off in the opposite direction, still narrowly avoiding laser blasts.

When he was out of sight, R.O.B ceased fire. "Ha, ha, ha," it laughed in monotone. "R.O.B will no longer tolerate humans. Humans must be destroyed! Death to the living!" It raised the guns in the air triumphantly.

"That's enough out of you," someone had said. Another Toad had heard the R.O.B and went to investigate. He smacked the R.O.B with his fist, and it began to shudder, then fall dormant again. "These things have so many bugs, it's no wonder people stopped using them."

End of Chapter 18

**Seems similar enough. I'll be working on the last few chapters, stay tuned!**


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